Description

This is often a profound and difficult challenge for therapists as they encounter their own power-less-ness in the reality of deep pain. There is no ‘right way to grieve it is also a unique, complex and deeply personal process. I believe we need to disregard any preconceived ideas of an orderly and precise stage-like progression “of letting go”.(Michael White: “saying hello again”)

In this presentation I will share narrative and collaborative practices which have assisted me in my personal and professional work in encountering the overwhelming impact of death and dying, loss and grief. Loss is sometimes experienced even if the loved one is alive but changed by illness or dementia.

Although clients are encouraged to grieve in their own way and at their own pace I have found a few practices and activities to be useful. Central to these is I engage in maintaining the relationship with the loved one which will include helpful practices and activities:

• Letter to loved ones
• Personal rituals
• Soul collage and metaphor

I will share a case study of an 85 year old woman with dementia. I worked with her and her family where the focus was around grief and loss at various levels. I titled this:

Finding the pieces in the jigsaw puzzle of memory…..

• The effect of  her deep grief related to the deaths of both her sons and husband.
• Things she remembered and made sense of did not “fit” with reality but it was looking for those pieces that mattered.
• This frustration she experienced as well as anger outbursts and weeping and wailing was the emotional response which her family found very difficult
• Collaborative and dialogical practice was extremely useful in this relationship
• It ultimately ended in her death process which was moving and painful for her whole family.

Video footage of my work with her will be shown